Hawaii can wait

I'm back in the US after my trip to India. Since this was my first trip to India in 9+ years, everyone has the same remark for me - India must have changed a lot. In certain aspects, it has but I think the bulk of the India experience is unchanged.

Some of what I liked:
- Communications (cell phones, internets and the google). People are connected like never before, they revel in the air waves around them and cell phone calls are answered promptly irrespective of other conversations around them. A socially-done thing? Or maybe, incoming calls are free so no one wants to miss out on a freebie opportunity. Can't blame them, I'd do the same.
- Air quality in Delhi is much better. It seems the move to CNG by autos, buses and some cars has had a significant impact.
- The airport in Delhi seems better too. I found the entire check-in, immigration and security process efficient and well executed.
- Health awareness among populace with physical activity on the rise. Everyone's a yoga expert here, promoting the benefits of pranayama and asanas.
- The spiritual experience in India is well alive. There is a temple very close to home, Bhairon Mandir and I was quite fascinated by the activities in the temple. Its right on busy Ring road, folks stop in their vehicles right on the Ring road and pay their respects. The temple itself is full of devotees, rituals, diyas, incense, the ringing sounds of the bells and the color. I truly enjoyed visiting the temple, and the festive season also added its own atmosphere to the experience. I realized there that this is something I missed here all these years.

The stuff thats not changed for the better are traffic, poverty, the me-first mindset - People love to keep their own homes clean, but wont hesitate to throw junk and household trash over to their neighbor's backyard or in front of the neighbor's house. The HOA's (referred to as RWA - residents welfare association) are out of control there just as we have here - they come up with rules and regulations that make no sense, and exhibit favoritism based on politcal beliefs of members. The BJP-Congress rivalry spills over to the HOA's. Parking is a huge problem. There have been instances of gun-fights over parking in so-called high-end neighborhood's. The conspicous consumption and the avenues for it, and the general display of wealth is something that had me thinking, especially when one sees the extreme poverty on the streets. This disparity in India always existed, but now it just seems to be more visible. Law and order, and the agenda of politicians are other downsides that needs its own blog.

Overall, it was just great to be in India. The familiar sights, the sounds, family ties, the charming women, the variety in food, the fresh vegetables and markets, the respect shown to senior citizens... I think I can continue dwelling on the positives.

I am looking forward to spending my next vacation again in India. I feel I have a lot to catch up on, plus hope to do some hiking in the Himalayan foothills or in the Ladakh area....after many visits these past years, Hawaii can wait.

Cell phone invasion

There is no cell phone etiquette here like what we are used to back in O-land. People answer their phones oblivious to the conversations that are going on. Maybe thats the way it should, and we have it all wrong. I was at an aunt's place for lunch today. Some other visitors dropped by. So, there were about 6 cell phones in the room. What seemed about every couple of minutes, one of them would go off, and the call would be answered. It wasnt considered inappropriate to interrupt the current conversation. Thankfully, the networks are over-loaded and I'm sure some of the calls are not getting through. Junk SMS's abound too and each one causes a beep or ring alert.

Only Vimal

Yes, this ad jingle is still around, it was kind of nice to see the ad, without Ravi Shastri in it.

The ads here are highly repetitive, and with no Tivo around, I have to watch them. It was especially bad during the Mohali cricket test match. They ran the same set of 2-3 ads in a loop after every over. Some of the ones that stood out were a Scottish bank ad with Sachin Tendulkar getting a suit tailored, nothing to do with a bank. Another one was of some pension scheme from HDFC. Mr. Bachchan of course has his share of ads. Then there is this deodorant ad with this guy attending a wedding, and a quickie ensues with some woman. Today, I saw a Hrithik Roshan ad for underwear where he kicks this martial arts master you-know-where.

Animal bites

There is a huge issue here with cats and dogs, both stray and pets. My mother got scratched by a cat in our backyard a couple of days ago. It cut her skin and some blood was visible. Initially, there was some debate on whether rabies shots were needed, but this was quickly settled. Next morning we went to the Central Rabies Lab near Civil Lines. This is where they do rabies testing and recommend shots schedule. They told us to go to the Government hospitals in Safdurjung to get the shots. So, we made our way there. My aunt, who is a life-long Delhi resident, knows the ways of the world here. We went to the ER (its called Casualty ward) and of course there was a sizeable crowd. She found her way in, dropped some names, plus there is a general sense of do-good for senior citizens here, and my mother was able to get her first shot. But for subsequent shots, the doctor told us that we would have to go to the Government hospital near our residence, since thats how the accounting for shots works. No problem, we went to the other hospital today. Its in Malviya Nagar. Acutually, its a pretty well-kept hospital, I was pleasantly surprised. Again, there was a sizeable line for OPD, but it moved fast. We were directed to a total of 3 rooms in all, but the system seemed to work pretty well. We were out of there in about an hour30.

Cat and dog bites seem to be a common occurence here. We met this lady..elderly, diabetic, and she was bitten so bad by a monkey on her leg, she needed surgery plus rabies shots. It was sad to see her limping around. She was obviously someone of limited means and I can only imagine the torture she would have gone through. At the previous hospital, we saw mainly kids bitten by dogs. There was one young kid howling with the painful shots.

I didnt realize it at first when I saw young people carrying sticks with them on their AM walks in the park, but these sticks are for warding off animal attacks. In our colony, there are no stray dogs, thanks to a resident who took the initiative to catch all the stray dogs in sacks, and transport them out of the city. Plus there is a HOA rule that no one can feed stray dogs.

Pet-owners dont seem to be holding a tight leash on their dogs. I have seen it twice already...a dog on a leash, jumping up at passerby's and frightening the crap out them. Also, there is this 7-yr old boy who walks a dog twice his size at night, or rather the dog walks the boy.

In Shirdi, and the trip to the Shani mandir in Shignapur

We arrived in Shirdi on the 13th around 2 pm. Its changed significantly since my last visit in 1999. Things are on a much bigger scale, many hotels, even a water park. We found a nice room in a new hotel some 3 minutes from the temple. After a nice thali lunch at Woodlands (recommended by Aparna's mother), we went for darshan inside the temple. We were very fortunate, since there were no crowds. I had heard of long wait times, but there were no queues when we got there. Also once inside, the guards told me to take my time..normally they hustle people quickly to keep crowds moving. It was very nice experience and we got Baba's darshan to our heart's content. After darshan, we went to the PRO office and were able to get VIP passes for the night Arti (Shej Arti). The Shej Arti itself was wonderful that evening. I have never seen an Arti in Shirdi and this was a memorable event.

The next day, we decided to go to Shignapur, for the Shani temple there. There are various SUV operators that do this 5-hour trip. We joined an existing SUV with other passengers, and took off for Shignapur. I was quite impressed with the roads in Maharashtra. They seemed well-maintained and traffic kept moving. The single lane undivided highways were dangerous but I attribute that to bad driving habits. For example, our driver, insisted on scaring the oncoming cars by driving in their lane and switching only at the last moment. It was just reckless on his part. He was a Hindi song buff and kept mouthing dialogues and songs. He would talk to himself, and I would think he was saying something to me, but no. "main apne dil se baat karta hoon". This dude would mouth dialogues like "Insaan apne karmon se bada hota hain, paison se nahin", but would not hesitate to pass comments on girls walking on the street. On the way back, the dude points to my shorts and asked me to give it to him. Now these are my hiking shorts paid primo$ at REI, and I was in no mood to part with it. I just refused. He seemed a bit embarassed at my refusal.

Stay in Mumbai

We stayed at the Motiwala's home in Mumbai on Sunday. Beyond Royal treatment is one way to describe our stay. Batul aunty had cooked up a storm, in advance of our arrival. All excellent stuff, biryani, chicken samosas, spicy pomfret, alu chat and her trade-mark Eid sheer-korma. Their home is also very nicely and tastefully done. Dr. FEM made sure my Dad was provided with beer and whisky, and kept us all amused with his talks. For our bus ride to Shirdi, aunty woked up at 5 AM and prepared breakfast for our bus ride. A memorable visit indeed. I also met Q's uncle and Salma at their home, and various Veena-Beena residents while taking a walk in the building.
In Mumbai, we also visited Prasana's parents in Wadala and Aparna's parents in Shivaji Park. Both the visits were very nice and they were happy to see me in India.

The traffic in Mumbai seems to be more organized than in Delhi. Further, the cabs all run on meter which is completely unlike Delhi. We took a Volvo bus to Shirdi from Bandra east. Nice bus, it was on time with minimal stops.

Jab we met M

We travelled by Rajdhani to Mumbai on the 11th. I used to do this all the time when I was in India, and it was good to relive the experience. The train in general seemed more run-down, the bathroom's as expected, but the sleeper seats were good and the floor's quite clean. The food and service were nice too.

Now, Jab we met.... I'll refer to her as M. She was sitting by herself, next to the window in the coach, and we (me and my parents) joined her. We were then joined by this elderly couple, the Ramaswamy's from Bhopal. They are a retired couple, originally from Karnataka, but settled in Bhopal. He has worked all his life in MP Electricity board. Initially there was not much eye-contact with M, but somehow the ice was broken by some chatter about train stops. She chimed in with her 2c's. I then started chatting with her. Our conversations went along quite well. She's a Mumbaikar to the core, grew up in Ghatkopar, travels by local to work in Parel, complained about high vegetable prices, and seemed really grounded. She gave me a hard time for not eating chaat and sev-puri from the road-side vendor's (I think I will now). I told her I liked parathas, and she told me she had some from her sister's home with her, and I could try them come dinner-time. Nice! We did have some 1:1 talk time on the platform at Valsad, darn it, the stop was for less than 5 minutes. Come night-time, she took charge of arranging the bedding for the Ramaswamy's and helped me with the same for my parents.

Something I havent done in a while, before the train arrived at Mumbai Central, I asked her for her email and phone number. She wrote down her email, and entered mine in her phone (she was amused at the rdrdrd, and I told her its origins with the 2-yr old Reiyan running around the kitchen island chanting rdrdrdrd..).

Frankly, I was attracted to her from the outset, and this grew over the evening, I think she is someone I would like to know more about. The catch now is that I dont know her status. I am pretty sure she is single, but am not sure if she is already interested in someone else. I sure hope not.

I tell Dr. FEM about her that evening in the cab from Shivaji Park. "tabadtope, bhale kaam me deri nahin. Ghar jaa kar email bhej do". I did just that. And today (10/16), I returned home to Delhi from Shirdi, and she has replied. On to the next step now, wish me luck folks!

As an aside, there was a young Punjabi couple on the side berths. They referred to me as "Bhaiyyaji". In the middle of the night, I was struggling to get down from the top berth, and then I heard a helpful voice "Bhaiyyaji, yahan pakad lo". Mrs. Ramaswamy also gave unsolicited advice to the Punjabi lady on her crochet skills, which was very nicely received. Another incident with them...my father likes to wear his dark glasses even after night-fall, I think he gets used to it, so he doesnt care to remove them. The Punjabi dude asked me very seriously "Uncleji ke aankhon mein infection hain?"

Update: Ok, here's an update. We had a long phone conversation where we tried to learn more about each other's lives. She asked me about my marital status, and I gave her some details about my past marriage. I could feel the enthusiasm level sink, but since I wanted to be completely open with her from the outset, I had no choice. After that, we spoke more about how she is going about finding her match. She indicated her preference for a guy from her own community. Maybe that was her way of telling me no. Anyway, the conversation closed out with lets-keep-in-touch, but I knew it hadnt gone as well as I had hoped it would. End of story...no happy endings here. I wish her well in her search for her life partner.

No problem aunty

One thing that seems to stand out here is respect for senior citizens. I noticed this on my first day here when we were picking up parathas from the local dhaba. Our car was blocking off a motorcyclist lunch-eater, who came out of the dhaba. On seeing his way blocked, comes to me with a fairly rough swagger and gestures with his hand for me to move the car (I'm in the passenger seat). I can't do much, my mother opens the door and tells him "ek minute mein move karte hain beta". The guy's attitude changes and he replied with "no problem aunty". My Dad comes back with the rotis some 10 minutes later, but the dude did not complain again.

Again today, I walked over to the MTNL office with my Dad. The folks there were so polite to him. He didnt have his signature on file, so they wanted his ID, which he didnt have. So, they told him he could send it over with anyone, and assuring him that he need not make a second trip to their office himself.

Red means keep going

Apparently, there are some traffic lights that are meant to be ignored. On the way back from dinner @Alkouzer (Awadhi kabab place) I thought we skipped a light. I pointed out that it was a red. A dismissive "yeh koi khaas light nahin hai" was the response. My bro-in-law supported the jump, indicating he had never seen anyone stop at this one.

Impressing Mom

Impressed my mother and my family with Pesarattu (courtesy Vanitha). I told my Mother yesterday that I know a good recipe for dal dosa. She heard it, and then I told her I make it. She couldnt beleive what she heard "you make dosas?". I nodded, and then we decided to make some for breakfast today morning. Everyone loved it.

Health and food

We went for a walk/run at the Rose Garden, Hauz Khas. Great place, its near IIT....stunning, as Sid would say. A cool morning today, its been unseasonably hot these past few days.

The garden has a nice path all around it, which makes it perfect for a run. I did 2 rounds and then was inspired to do some yoga. Yoga was all around..its the thing here. Multiple pockets of people- groups doing yoga. Many individuals too. People in general seem to be much more health-aware. Our 80-year old neighbor plays tennis regularly.

Of course the other side is here too..unhealthy food. Pakoras get sold here by the kilo. Everyone loves it, me included. Went to my Aunt's house, and the help there made some killer crisp pakoras. I ate half-a-dozen of them.

Another unhealthy habit here...alcohol. Drinks i.e whisky is consumed on a daily basis in the evenings. I went to my Dad's close friend's place nearby. Really nice, friendly people, and they insisted I consume some scotch. I tried real hard to refuse, but a glass still appeared in front of my hand. I played along, consumed it, and thought I was done. No way, "you can't stop at 1 drink, accha nahin lagta". So, a 2nd scotch appears. Now I thought I was truly done, but time comes for a 3rd round, I refuse, "just a few drops", and glass in front of my hand again. I was buzzed by the time I got out.

first trip to Nehru place 10/07/08

Nehru place is supposedly Asia's biggest computer market. Its about 5 minutes walk from my house here. Me and my Dad go there by car, and it takes us some 30 minutes to get there...lunch-hour trafffc is the reason. For parking, you enter a lot and hand over your keys to the attendant. The cars are parked next to each other, couple of cars have to be moved later in order to get to your car, hence the key's. I had a what-the look, my Dad shrugged it off.

I bought 2 AC-DC adaptors for cordless phones. Nice and cheap, and seems pretty good quality.

Then my Dad wanted his shoes polished. While this was being done by the street-side cobbler, his buddy comes by with chai in a plastic bag. He pours it very skillfully into 3 cups..not a drop is wasted. He then tosses the plastic bag behind him on the road. No biggie. Nehru Place is full of trash...piles of used plates, cups, newspaper wraps, etc, so one more plastic bag is allright it seems.

Musings from Dilli

I'm back here after a long time. The ride from airport was slow. Dad wanted to try a new route back home since he can't do that at night-time, and he had seen cab-drivers take this route. After a few U-turns, we made it to the outer ring road. Traffic was bad in parts, the metro line is being built out at a ferocious pace for some games in 2010.

The indiscipline on the roads is beyond amazing..no concept of right-of-way, lanes non-existent. There was an auto driving on the wrong side of the road. My sister, Chanda, is making a turn in a narrow lane, and obviously she needs a bit more space. But no, the Delhi driver will come in and try and squeeze in front of her, and a motorcyle with 2 passengers is squeezing in behind her car. What-the guys. I have driven in Bombay in the 80's and 90's, and dont recall this level of indiscipline. Maybe thats changed there too. I'll know next weekend when am there.